Devastated after that rejection note? It’s tempting to get angry and yell nasty things about the employer. You might even vow that you will never apply to that company again.

But there's a another, smarter way. 

Put yourself in the employer’s shoes for a moment. He/she probably feels awful about having to reject good candidates. It may well have been a tough decision between you and the candidate who got the job offer. That hiring decision maker may well have liked you a lot, but decided to go with someone else. But now that they’ve rejected you, they feel awkward.

If they were to get in the same elevator or run into you on a train, it would be uncomfortable. Tense. You’ve probably experienced this at some point in the dating game. You had to reject someone nice, and it’s tough to look him/her in the eye. It's really tough to go back to them if you change your mind later.

Savvy job hunters will go out of their way to repair this breakdown in the relationship. Here’s how:

Send a thank you note. Tell the boss that you appreciate the time spent with you. You're a big boy (or girl) and you understand that the boss picked the candidate they thought would be best for the job. You wish the boss and the chosen candidate well.

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Think about this for a moment. Many employers say that a small minority (maybe 10% or so) take the time to thank them for the job interview. It’s an important courtesy that many employers really appreciate. In fact, I’ve heard some employers say they don't hire candidates who haven't sent a thank you note. That said, how many thank you notes do you think they get from people they’ve rejected? If you guess NONE, you’re probably spot on. You may be the only candidate who does this.

You might even take this a step further. Be in touch with that boss and ask if you might add them to your network. They might be willing to have a meeting with you in which you can pick their brains about what’s going on in the industry, the competition, needs in their companies and others.

They may well feel comfortable referring you to someone else in the company for networking/possibility discussions. Probably, there's no immediate opening, but if  your skills are a good match, these managers should know who you are. After all, they never know when some employee is going to quit, get fired, or move to  Alaska.

The boss might also refer you to a vendor or a colleague in another company.

Healing this breach is a good thing to do even if there are no rewards that come from it, other than that it makes you feel better.  But suppose that the candidate hired doesn’t like the job or doesn’t work out for some other reason.

One client, a controller, told us that he got his job because something very strange happend. The man the company hired a man for the controller position went to lunch on his first day on the job--and never came back!  

Who is the employer most likely to think about if something like this happens. The person who showed courtesy and fixed the awkwardness in the relationship.